an artist's life

I was reading an artist's rant this morning and it struck a cord. although i did not agree with everything, maybe not any of it. but it really struck a cord.
he said that an artists' life is not one of quiet desperation but noisy desperation. well i'm quietly desperate. maybe not - cuz someone might actually read this blog and then i'm making noise - sorta. but i definitely relate to desperate.
the rant focused on the artist's sense that he had no time to do all the things that he should be doing, let alone what he wants to be doing. the stress of having to manage his personal life and manage his business, finding time for marketing and so on, and still have time to create was a major motivating factor in writing the rant.
time.
what does it mean when i don't have time for something. sometimes it means that other things get my attention. people can always get my attention and pull me away from the business or creative aspects. emergencies like the hot water heater falling apart and the plumber messing up so that the shower no longer works which makes me feel pulled uncontrollably toward trying to move now and not in the summer.
it is truly a feeling of desperation that moves me when the plumber points out that there is water standing under the house. that has got to be a major health hazard and contributing to how cold i am. during the course of trying to write that sentence i had to get up three times to shut doors flying open from the wind that just kicked up. the plumber also told me that the pipes are so caked with crap i ought not drink the water, that the wiring was substandard under the house and that the windows are ready to fall out. things i really knew anyway.
so i feel desperate. and that does not contribute to a feeling of creativity. i just don't see how suffering permits art while you are suffering.
the other time sapper is not to much movement but too little. instead of feeling pulled toward the person or thing requiring action now, i feel frozen. i think it's a chill of suppressed anger. i hold it in til every part of me is emotionally and physically frozen stiff. but i do not believe i am unique. i think many people struggle with this. (i think there may be ways in which i am unique, but this isn't one of them.) Other people may sit in front of the TV when they feel like this or drown themselves in booze or drugs, anything to numb the anger.
So it seems that if i could discover how to create while some magnet is pulling me to it's northern pole or i'm stuck in an iceberg then i could express something that is driving alot of people crazy in this world where we don't get flight or flight, we get detours and road blocks.
perfect example no time to finish this thought. one sick child; another with a crashed computer. i got interrupted 2Xs trying to write that!!!